Make Him Recognizable

When does it happen? At what point? Is there truly a wrinkle in time that can be stretched out for the Black boy? As a mother of a Black son, I am terrified and vigilant. Yet, I know my son deserves to thrive and enjoy his childhood, live out his awkward teen years, become a successful young man, and grow old and build a legacy for his family. However, there must be a balance. You see, while some families are teaching lessons on success and overcoming obstacles, Black families must interweave lessons of survival and coming home.

When he was a baby, I remember watching Fruitvale Station, starring Michael B. Jordan, where he chronicled the last days of Oscar Grant’s life. I went to bed weeping. The anxiety of the Black mother has never faltered. I wholeheartedly want my Black son to be anything in this world he wants to be—a doctor, a lawyer, a member of the Armed Forces—anything productive and fulfilling. However, I need his face to be recognizable. So, as it turns out, it would be healthier and safer if he focused on carrying a ball, dribbling down the court, or winning his first Grammy. He needs to be recognizable, to be seen as human, as your “superhero.” If you view him like you view LeBron James and his Black skin or admire his work on films like Denzel Washington and don’t feel fear of his Black skin, then you would be able to see his humanity. So you have to recognize him. I need the world to see the sparkle in his eyes like I do. You have to see that he is a child just trying to make it home to his family. 

“Thrust into another dimension of strong enough to tough it out, while also being strong enough to be a threat. ” — TIFFANY HUBERT

My son… Let me tell you more about my son. He is a ray of sunshine; he loves music, math, and sports. He has always been the tallest person in his class—a fact that he doesn’t think about much, but something I am aware of. There are times where I observe his teachers giving more grace to other children than they do for him. “He looks older than he is,” is often the line I get. This past school year, he had a full-on bully, and I quickly learned the “zero tolerance” policy does not apply when the child being bullied is tall and Black, and the other is small and White. I was given every excuse on why the actions continued to take place until I went to my local school board. Was that a prelude to the fight? There is no balance for the Black boy. Thrust into another dimension of strong enough to tough it out, while also being strong enough to be a threat. So I need him to be recognizable. He is no threat. If you let him live, he can be your superhero. 

During this quarantine, I let him be free and he is so much happier. He has always wanted to twist his hair. A notion that society has deemed “dreadful” and gives off the appearance of “rough” or “criminal.” I didn’t want him to “look suspicious”—yes, even at 7 years old. So I told him no until he was out of school. Since the quarantine, his hair has been twisted, braided, and, for two weeks, was Hot Cheeto red, like one of his favorite football players, Kwon Alexander. He is thriving at home. His laughter has been authenticated. His smile glows deeper. 

In our cocoon, he can dream, be imaginative, and try new things. I fear for the moment of metamorphosis. Will he be able to play in the parks with his friends without impending danger from authority? Is it okay if he turns the music up in his car when his favorite song comes on? Can he walk to his local convenience store for a drink and a snack? Or for a run on a trail in the neighborhood? When he does, I need you to recognize him. See the sparkle in his eyes. See him as human and worth the blood pumping through his veins. He needs to be recognized as valued and loved. Because he is. He has to be recognizable as your superhero. Because he is.

About the Author: Tiffany Hubert is a mother living in Central Florida with her family. The founder of Sistas In Sports and brand strategist in the professional sports industry, Hubert specializes in youth and female fan engagement. When she is not on the sidelines of the game, you can find her in the starting line-up within her community.

Follow her on Instagram: @bfastattiffanys00 & @sistasinsports

Reference: Sistas In Sports